


Twenty-Three and Some Change

by morrezela



Series: Bodyguard [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Bodyguard, Class Issues, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-16
Updated: 2013-03-16
Packaged: 2017-12-05 10:52:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/722237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morrezela/pseuds/morrezela
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen is a bodyguard who fell in love with his charge Jared: age nineteen. Said charge’s parents think the two of them have a little bit of growing to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Twenty-Three and Some Change

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Swearing
> 
> A/N: This is my eleventh fill for my Hurt/Comfort Bingo Card. The square is ‘learning to be loved.’
> 
> This is the follow-up to Nineteen. I was told by a few people that I wasn’t allowed to have a melancholy Thanksgiving fic, so I thought I’d write a fix-it. And then I got all artsy with it on the Bingo Card fill, being interpretive of the prompt and what not...
> 
> All mistakes you find are my own

It is the day before Christmas Eve, and Jensen is busy trying to convince his mother that she can, indeed, take his money. According to her, he has done enough for the family, and he needs to look out for himself for a change. It’s like she doesn’t even know that he lives in the very lap of luxury most days out of the year.

Maybe the money isn’t his, but the Padalecki family doesn’t believe in making the help eat McDonald’s while the family members dine on lobster and steak either. And that is just the regular household staff. As a paid companion and bodyguard, Jensen usually ends up eating whatever it is that Jared happens to have a craving for that day.

When they go to restaurants where Jensen can decide on his own, he used to always order the cheapest thing on the menu. It wasn’t like the ‘cheap stuff’ was going to be bad, not at the kind of places that Jared would dare show his face in, and Jensen had been raised right even if he hadn’t been raised rich.

It had taken about nine months for Jared to catch on to the ordering cheap plan, and it still mortifies Jensen to know that he let a barely sixteen-year-old kid chew him out for trying to be frugal. Apparently it insulted Jared’s integrity. Jensen still doesn’t understand why Jared was upset by saving money like that.

As a result of Jared’s hissy fit, Jensen started ordering chicken. Despite what one would think, chicken isn’t always the cheapest thing on the menu, but it is rarely the most expensive either. There are days that he can’t even stand the sight of the stuff, and he half suspects that Jared caught onto his ‘eat the cheap-er chicken’ plan years ago. But neither of them ever says anything, and neither of them likes to upset the status quo.

For a brief moment, Jensen almost leans to his right to poke at Jared and ask about the chicken thing. Then he remembers that Jared isn’t there. Jared is off having Christmas at a ski chalet in Colorado after attending a few balls and galas that will help encourage younger people to join and invest in one of the many Padalecki owned businesses.

From across the room, Jensen’s mother gives him a knowing look before turning away with a slump to her too thin shoulders. It isn’t natural to spend so much time with somebody, a somebody who is for all intents and purposes your boss, and not get tired of them. But Jensen misses Jared already, and it shows.

His mother doesn’t approve. Hell, Jensen doesn’t approve of the feelings that he has for his charge. But he has them. It’s a recipe for disaster, and he knows it. Jared is young and rich and beautiful. Jensen is young and beautiful, but rich he isn’t.

His job keeps him in expensive clothing. When his duds start to get too shabby or out of style for the scrutiny of those that he has to associate with, Jared drags Jensen to a shop of Jared’s choosing. Jared then forbids Jensen to look at a single price tag, but he at least allows Jensen to choose his own styles. It’s a small gift from God because Jensen does not want to be subjected to the fashion choices of an artistically inclined teenager.

Jensen always ships his used clothing to his mother. His father and brother take what fits and what they like, and his mother sells the rest on eBay if she can.

Most of Jensen’s income goes to putting his sister and his sister-in-law through college. They grew up poor, and sure there is assistance, but poor neighborhoods don’t have the greatest of schools. Scholarships favor good GPAs, and Jensen knows what it is like to try to get good grades while you’re working two part time jobs to help the family out.

So he pays for his sister’s tuition, and he pays for daycare for his sister-in-law so that his brother can keep working and his sister-in-law can have some study time.

Jensen doesn’t keep much for himself, but he never has had much either.

He isn’t ashamed of his family or where he comes from. He’s put a lot of effort into schooling his drawl into a moderate accent, and he might not have gotten to go to college, but he’s spent a lot of time reading. Jared teases him on occasion that Jensen has the most boring taste in books known to man.

Jensen goes ahead and lets Jared think that because Jared doesn’t mean anything by it. He doesn’t know that Jensen doesn’t keep his money for a rainy day, and Jensen doesn’t want him to know either. Above all, he never wants to have that conversation with Jared where he admits that he actually hates all of those ‘brainy’ books, but he wants to be educated, and he cannot afford to get an education the classical way.

A cheerful voice on the television advises Jensen’s nephews that if they write Santa and believe, that they might just get their fondest wish for Christmas. Jensen snorts derisively, and his brother glares at him and makes a shooing motion at him. 

He leaves, not because he has to, but because he knows he’s being an ass. Jensen has never gotten what he wants for Christmas. When he was a kid, it seemed like the end of the world that he always got the hand-me-down clothes, and his toys came from a local charity. When he was a teenager, it was an embarrassment to be seen at the local Kmart with his mother while she made layaway payments on his sister’s lone doll.

As an adult? Jensen is driving himself crazy with what he wants. Jared is fucking nineteen. It’s so close to jailbait that Jensen should be ashamed of himself. He is ashamed of himself. Four years isn’t that big of an age gap for most couples, but Jensen is in a position of trust with Jared, and Jared isn’t fully grown yet. Not even his mammoth body has finished filling out, let alone his maturity levels.

The doorbell rings, and Jensen’s father beats him to answering it. His dad still thinks it’s the greatest thing in the world to have a doorbell instead of a plain old door that guests knock on, and Jensen has to smile a little bit at that.

“Hi, uh, Mr. Ackles?” floats down the short hallway, and Jensen knows that voice. He knows it; he’s just in denial that he’s hearing it.

“Yes?” Jensen’s father sounds wary as he replies.

“I… is Jensen home?” Jared’s voice ends on that adorable squeak he gets when he’s nervous, and Jensen has to school his face back from a stupid smile as he goes to the door.

“Jensen’s with his family right now,” Jensen’s father answers defensively. He’s proud of Jensen, but he doesn’t like how many choices Jensen’s job makes for him. He thinks that the rich folk are playing with Jensen’s life like he’s a pet.

They’ve fought over it a few times, but they never really settle the argument. As far as Jensen’s concerned, the Padaleckis don’t make any more decisions for him than the government would’ve if he’d kept it in his pants, so there isn’t anything to worry about. Less, actually, given that Jensen isn’t deployed into a war zone where he eats military rations, sleeps on a cot and wears army green every day.

“I know,” Jared answers politely, “I was just…”

“In the area?” Jensen’s father interrupts, sarcasm clear in his tone.

“Jared!” Jensen exclaims as he puts on an extra burst of speed to round the corner faster and stop the impending spat.

Jared’s face breaks out into a sunny, beautiful smile, and Jensen can practically hear his heart start to pound at the sight. He’s twenty-three. Things like Jared’s expression shouldn’t make him go weak at the knees, but they do.

“Hey,” Jared says quietly.

“Hey, what’re you doing here?” Jensen asks as he slides between his father and the door.

His dad grunts in irritation, but takes the hint and stalks away.

“I wanted to see you,” Jared replies with a tiny blush.

“Just saw me a couple of days ago,” Jensen reminds him as he motions for Jared to come through the door.

Jared hesitates, casting a glance in the direction that Jensen’s father went in before he steps across the threshold. He is dressed in jeans and a hoodie; his sneakers are a little scuffed up. It’s probably the most casual outfit that Jared has, and Jensen knows that wearing it is not some fluke on Jared’s part. The state of the Ackles’ finances might not be crystal clear to Jensen’s employer, but the Padaleckis know enough about him to know that he doesn’t come from money.

They never say anything about it. They are too classy to do that. But they’ve sent him to etiquette lessons, and he’s been through seminars on dancing and diplomacy and culture and a myriad of other topics. All of them were always disguised as Jared’s lessons, but where Jared went, Jensen had to follow.

“I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and give you your gift,” Jared tells him.

Jensen tilts his head in confusion. “I thought you didn’t believe in giving Christmas gifts out before the very day. I seem to remember something about sacrilege and dishonoring Santa.”

“Yeah, well, normally I get to see you right after the holiday, you know?” Jared mumbles.

“Still back on December twenty-eighth,” Jensen says, an uneasy feeling building in his stomach.

Jared frowns, and his eyes get a little stormy. “I’m going to Greece.”

Jensen swallows and nods. Sometimes things come up, and family members need to cover. “So I’ll meet up with you in Europe then. A few more days aren’t going to…”

“You’re covering Momma’s trip to the Bahamas,” Jared interrupts, his normal good manners flying out the window.

It’s disappointing, but Jensen can handle it. “Well, Marcus is a good guard, better than me. Probably better than me with keeping you out of trouble anyway.”

Marcus has been Mrs. Padaleckis’ bodyguard since Jared was four. If there is a guard on the team that has a psychic sense about Jared’s naughty side, it’s Marcus.

“Not taking Marcus either,” Jared bites out tightly.

Jensen feels his eyebrows rise. “What?”

“Shelby is coming.”

Luke Shelby isn’t new to the team, but he’s got a pedigree that the rest of them don’t. He’s smart, educated and the grandson of a very important business partner of Jared’s father. He came on the team to learn the ins and outs of security forces, a ground up approach to his family business. He’s got money and ambition.

Jensen can’t say that the guy isn’t good, because he is. His whole life has been built around making things safe and secure. From weapons to electronics to martial arts, Shelby has what it takes. The problem is that he knows it.

“Luke is good,” Jensen tries to say noncommittally.

Jared shrugs, but the upset look in his eyes doesn’t go away. “I told Momma that I’d rather have Perkins, but she said that it would be better if I had Luke with me. Said that he’d fit in better.”

Jensen swallows, hard. Jared doesn’t have to explain what that means, and it isn’t like he didn’t know it was coming. There’s been talk about Jensen’s attachment to Jared. There always has been, but the family has always ignored it.

But a few weeks ago a few of the guards started talking about how Jared was all over Jensen at the Thanksgiving party, and that degraded into talk about how dependent on Jensen he was becoming.

Jensen getting bumped to be Mrs. Padalecki’s secondary cover is their way of recognizing that he’s been a good employee. They’re giving him the benefit of the doubt that he isn’t trying to make Jared cling to him, and Jensen isn’t sure if he’s grateful for that or not. He can’t say with any certainty that he hasn’t been trying to get Jared to fall in love with him. It’s natural to want the object of your affections to love you back, isn’t it?

“So I’ll see you in January then,” Jensen chokes out as cheerfully as he can.

Jared huffs and nods. He knows that Jensen got the message, and he’s probably just a little upset with Jensen that he isn’t making a fuss about it. If Jensen was going back on Jared’s detail, he’d be certain that he’d get an ear beating the next time that he was alone with his charge. But Jared isn’t Jensen’s charge anymore, and Jared always knows when to fight his battles.

“You going to give me my present?” Jensen prompts when their shared silence threatens to get too long.

“I don’t know. Maybe you’ve been naughty and don’t deserve it,” Jared’s timing is off as he speaks, his teasing tone strained.

“Gimme,” Jensen responds as he slides his hands into Jared’s hoodie pocket looking for his present.

Normally this would be Jared’s cue to pull the present out and lift it as high above his head as possible. Jensen would jump and curse, and Jared would laugh until one of them finally caved and cried uncle.

But Jared just shoves his hand in the pocket with Jensen’s hand, and for the briefest of seconds, Jared’s long fingers feel like they’re trying to intertwine with Jensen’s before they pull out a shiny looking package. The silver wrapping is a little rumpled, and the bow is askew. Whichever expensive decorator wrapped the presents this year would have a fit if they saw what Jared just did to their handy work, but it still looks pretty to Jensen.

“A watch?” Jensen guesses as he gently takes the present from Jared’s grasp.

Jared shrugs and motions for Jensen to open the gift.

“Playing quiet, huh?” Jensen tries to banter as he pulls the wrapping off and cracks the lid to the jewelry box open.

There is a necklace inside. It isn’t a solid, masculine chain, but a delicate string of pearls.

“You’re always talking about how your momma always wanted a pearl necklace,” Jared explains.

“Jay, I can’t…”

“You’re really gonna tell me no? Now of all times?” Jared asks.

“Your momma won’t be happy with you using that kind of gutter language,” Jensen mutters.

“Momma won’t know if you don’t tell her,” Jared replies. “Besides, your momma doesn’t need to know that they’re real expensive, right? They sell pearls on, on QVC or something, don’t they?”

“I’m a little scared that you know that,” Jensen says.

“Late night television helps me sleep,” Jared dismisses.

Jensen shrugs before saying, “I don’t have your gift yet.”

“I know. You always buy it at the after Christmas sales.”

Jensen blushes with shame because, well, he always has. Things are cheaper then, and it’s not like he ever gets Jared anything especially nice anyway. He can’t afford the sort of quality that Jared gets. He just didn’t know that Jared knew he did that.

“It’s okay,” Jared hastens to assure him, “I kind of like it. It’s normal, you know?”

“It isn’t normal,” Jensen counters.

“Okay, but… it’s kind of cute. I never get sale merchandise. I mean, I do, but it’s a house or a car or something that Daddy bargained down on, and that’s not the same.”

Jensen laughs a little at that. “You sounded so pretentious right then.”

“I was being sincere!” Jared protests.

“Yeah, yeah. Merry Christmas,” Jensen mutters, throwing an arm around Jared’s shoulders to give him a half assed buddy hug.

To his surprise, Jared pulls him in for a full on hug. It isn’t that unusual for Jared to get feely, but he holds on for a little longer and squeezes a little tighter than he normally does before he lets go and wishes Jensen a happy New Year as well.

Then he leaves before Jensen has the chance to say anything else. It’s Jared’s way of saying goodbye.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Bahamas are nice. Jensen normally fries like a strip of fatty bacon in the sun, but the Padalecki dermatologist had a special blend of sunblock made for him that works wonders on his fair skin.

Marcus, the bastard, laughs at Jensen every morning about it because Marcus has skin that could probably reflect bullets. Sunlight wouldn’t dare burn his precious skin.

“Honey, I’m sure that Luke is just trying to… Jared, don’t interrupt your mother,” Mrs. Padalecki scolds in the main room of their hotel suite, and Jensen cringes at her tone.

Jared never, ever fights with his parents. The whole family gets along so disgustingly well that Jensen wouldn’t believe it if he hadn’t been living in it for the past four years of his life. But Jared has decided to have his teenage rebellion at the last possible moment.

At least that is what Jensen keeps telling himself. The alternative is both too terrifying and too heartbreaking to even think about. Jensen doesn’t want to be the cause of a family rift, and at the same time he desperately wants Jared to want him. It’s been four weeks since he last saw Jared, and he misses the guy like he never missed anyone.

“I am not trying to push the two of you together!” Mrs. Padalecki denies, and Marcus grunts as he loudly flicks the morning paper open.

“That’s ludicrous! Jared if you would just listen to yourself talk,” Mrs. Padalecki sounds hurt, and Jensen tries to grab the sports section away from Marcus to give himself something else to focus on.

Marcus grabs the other edge of the paper and tugs, the tearing sound echoes loudly in the kitchenette, but it doesn’t go above the escalating volume of the conversation turned argument in the next room.

“If I had something against Jensen, he wouldn’t be with me right now! I… Jared, that is quite enough!”

“You should’ve been a fisherman,” Marcus tells Jensen, waving a torn piece of paper in front of Jensen’s nose.

Jensen focuses on him and snatches away the paper irritably. “What are you talking about?”

“You’ve got that boy hooked, turned six ways to Sunday and making an ungodly fuss about it too.”

“You’re crazy,” Jensen mutters defensively.

“Oh ho! I see,” Marcus crows as he snatches the paper back from Jensen. “Little Jared has been setting his own hooks, hmm?”

Jensen grunts and stands up, pushing himself away from the small table the hotel suite provides. “I’m going to go check the perimeter.”

“Sure you are,” Marcus tells Jensen’s retreating back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Florida sucks. Jensen hates Florida. Normally he hates Florida because he mispronounced its name until he was twenty, and Mr. Padalecki sent Jared to elocution lessons - which, of course, meant that Jensen went to elocution lessons and found out what a goddamned hick he was.

So Jensen hates Florida in general, but he hates it more because it is more sun and more beaches, and he’s sick of those.

It also has no Jared. Jensen would be okay with this except for the fact that it has plenty of pictures of Jared, and Luke Shelby is in most of those pictures. Jensen isn’t bothered by the fact that Shelby is in the photos. Jensen’s been in his fair share of publicity shots. It’s a hazard of the job and the very reason that the Padaleckis have invested so much money in Jensen’s appearance.

But Jensen always made certain to stay out of the lime light if he could help it. Those photos weren’t supposed to be about Jensen, and the more that people knew his face, the less effective he was as a bodyguard. Getting his mug plastered on some tabloid spread could make him a target. It was a sign pointing to who needed to be taken out in order to get to the main objective.

Luke knows that. Luke, to the annoyance of all of them that have been on the job for a while, likes to preach the gospel of keeping a low profile constantly. It’s like he thinks they are all imbeciles just because they weren’t trained in the Shelby family program and don’t know how to stop an attempt at stealing an online identity as easily as they could an attempt to steal Miss Padalecki’s latest eyesore of a purse.

That he is breaking his own rules is a sign that he isn’t seeing this as a job so much as an opportunity. What irks Jensen more is that he can’t tell if Luke is just trying to fame hog for himself, or if he’s in the papers because he’s trying to woo Jared.

The sick twist in his guts tells him that it’s both, and Jensen doesn’t like that idea. Jared deserves better than that. A guy like Jared should never be chased after because of what his fame and fortune can do for his lover. He’s not some spoiled debutant whose integrity isn’t worth the plastic that his credit card is printed on.

“Jared, son, why are you being so difficult? You were excited about this trip last week,” Mr. Padalecki’s voice can barely be made out through the thick door that separates him from Jensen, but it’s Jensen’s job to listen for any troubles, especially when he’s on entryway duty and doesn’t have a visual on his charge.

He can’t help it that he overhears conversations while he does it.

“Don’t you take that tone with… Oh, I’m the one who is being sarcastic now, am I?”

“If you feel that way, maybe your mother and I should take your passport away.”

“Yes, you are an adult. I realize that, Jared, but you also have no real job and you haven’t even finished school yet. Getting out of the family is…”

And Jensen can ignore many things, but he was hired with the purpose of keeping Jared safe. Jared running off on his own is not safe. He knows that the Padaleckis wouldn’t let any of their kids falter or fall – not far anyway, but he also knows that Jared can get himself into metric tons of trouble.

He signals to Alfonso that he’s going in the room, and the short Mexican doesn’t even look surprised. Alfonso has never looked surprised at anything. If Marcus is bullet proof, then Alfonso is shock proof. He’s also scary. He is five foot two, but everybody says that he’s two inches taller than that because they want to stay on his good side.

Jensen once saw him flip a six foot bouncer over and pin him to the ground. He’s solid muscle and faster than a viper, and Jensen isn’t so sure that he isn’t psychic. There is a reason that Alfonso is the big man’s head guard.

“Jared, you’re being…” Mr. Padalecki trails off as Jensen enters the room. To his credit, his eyes dart around the room looking for danger instead of looking annoyed that his private call is being interrupted.

Jensen can hear the indistinct words of Jared’s voice coming through the phone. He sounds upset and stressed and not defiant at all. He sounds like he’s been crying, and if the tears in Mr. Padalecki’s eyes are anything to go by, so has he.

Taking a breath, Jensen motions for Mr. Padalecki to hand the phone over to him. Understanding dawns on his face, and he doesn’t look quite happy about the order, but he doesn’t hesitate to give Jensen the device.

“Jared,” he says once into the receiver.

“Jensen?” Jared’s crying voice perks up in pathetic hopefulness.

“You need to stop this, Buddy,” Jensen advises him.

That sets Jared off. “I will not. I do not. This is fucking bullshit, Jensen! They can’t keep us…”

“They can do what they want to do, and you’re going to let them. I know that you don’t get this, and I don’t want you to ever get it, but the world out there is fucking awful. Okay, Jay? It’s hard, and it’s miserable. I gotta live in that world, but you don’t.”

“That’s your stupid, pessimistic, depressing brain talking,” Jared argues.

“Maybe it is,” Jensen concedes, “But you’re nineteen and in a position to change the world. Don’t you go throwing that away over me. Hardship is something that finds you on its own, Jay. You don’t need to cause it. But opportunities like the ones you were born with? That chance to go build fucking orphanages or raise money for cancer research or fund veterinary care for the local animal shelter or whatever your current project of the month is? Those don’t come around to just anybody.”

“What if you’re my project?” Jared answers sullenly.

“Poor waste of resources,” Jensen replies tightly.

“Fuck that. You need a little self-esteem,” Jared snips.

“I need a whole lot more than that,” Jensen tells him.

“No, no you don’t. You’re perfect the way you are,” Jared responds, his voice filling with tears again.

Jensen shakes his head and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’m not perfect, Jay. And one day you’ll realize that.”

“Don’t you dare give me the ‘you’re too young’ lecture! I’ve had enough of that from my parents,” Jared hisses.

“Okay, I won’t do that,” Jensen relents, “but you’re tearing yourself up over this. It’s not good for you, and it’s not good for your family. They love you, and they want what is best for you.”

“They want me to be a good little rich boy and date other little rich boys until they think that I’m old enough to marry some other rich boy so way can make bring bouncing bundles of money into the world,” Jared snarls.

It hurts Jensen to hear that, but even if Jared is taking a skeptical approach to his family’s concern, the gist of it is true. Jensen knows that he isn’t exactly an acceptable partner. He’d laugh at any other rich person that fell in love with his bodyguard and call him a fool.

After all, isn’t that his first reaction to Luke? That he’s been playing at getting Jared’s attentions for his own gain?

“Jay, if you look at it from the outside,” Jensen tries to say.

“They know you! I know you! I love you!” Jared yells back at him.

Jensen pinches the bridge of his nose again to keep his own tears from coming. He’s wanted to hear that for ages now. This should be a happy moment. It should be a good thing.

“I…” he chokes out.

“Do you not feel the same way? I… did I misread the signals? If you’re not, not into me and this is just my parents trying to soften the blow…” for the first time, Jared sounds hesitant.

“No,” Jensen whispers.

“No you don’t love me, or no you do?”

“I do,” Jensen mumbles, his eyes darting to Mr. Padalecki’s face. The older man looks worn and tired. He’s crying and looks miserable.

“Jensen,” the hope in that one word from Jared’s lips breaks Jensen’s heart.

“Jay,” Jensen starts to summon the courage to rebuff Jared again, but the younger man cuts him off.

“No, you just… I’m gonna find a way to get through this. Okay? You just hang on and, and Momma and Daddy are going to see how great you are. Or, I mean, they already know that you’re great, but they’ll see that I’m not just crushing on you and using my, my authority or whatever to make you reciprocate. You, you just hang on for me, okay? Can you wait for me?”

Jensen should deny the request. He knows that he should. He’s older and supposedly wiser and definitely world weary. But Jensen apparently hasn’t learned his lesson about getting involved with inappropriate people because he says, “Okay,” back into the phone.

Jared’s relieved exhale tells Jensen more than he wants to know. “Tell Daddy that I’ll talk to him later,” he says before the phone goes silent.

Handing the phone back to Mr. Padalecki, Jensen avoids making eye contact. He feels horrible, twisted up inside. It’s not at all how he thought it would be if the day ever came that he got to hear, ‘I love you,’ come out of Jared’s lips.

 

“You’re a better man than I am,” Mr. Padalecki tells him.

Jensen laughs and shakes his head. His boss clearly doesn’t know what his little, ‘okay,’ meant. “No, sir, I’m not.”

“It’ll get better. You’re both good kids.”

Jensen takes a breath and squares his shoulders like he did that day that the general caught him with his grandson. “With all due respect, Mr. Padalecki, I stand around waiting to take a bullet or a knife or a punch for you and your family. I’m not a kid.”

Mr. Padalecki nods his head once. “Fair enough, Jensen. You’re a good man, and if Jared was older…”

“I think we both know that isn’t true,” Jensen says.

Mr. Padalecki looks surprised by Jensen’s words, and Jensen wonders if the man really believes that he’d be okay with his son hooking up with somebody like Jensen if Jared was older. Denial is a strange thing.

“I should return to my post,” Jensen says before Mr. Padalecki has the chance to try to convince both of them of his open mindedness. It’s for the best that neither of them is subjected to that particular monologue.

“Alfonso can handle things without you there, has been for years,” Mr. Padalecki’s voice cuts through the room like the bullet that Jensen is always afraid is coming for one of his charges.

“Mr. Padalecki,” resignation is strong in Jensen’s body language, but his tone is respectful.

“You’re young, not even twenty-five yet, and you’ve spent the last four years of your life dedicated to keeping my son safe. I’m not saying that you aren’t capable, and I know that you’ve lived a rougher life than a lot of my employees, so maybe you’re older than your years. But you don’t ever keep anything for yourself, and I can’t let my boy go off and be with a man who doesn’t ever take for himself.”

“You’re saying I’m not selfish enough?” Jensen croaks.

“Wanting something for yourself isn’t selfish, and while most parents would want their child to have a partner that would give anything, do anything for them, I’m not that person. That isn’t a healthy relationship, and I don’t want that for either of you. You’ve got more than that inside of you.”

Denials spring to Jensen’s lips, but he chokes the impulse back. The man in front of his is still his employer, and arguing with him isn’t advisable. Stoic silence might not be the best fall back in the world, but it’s better than getting fired.

Disappointment clouds Mr. Padalecki’s face, but he shakes it off, determination taking its place. “Jensen, are you going to be a bodyguard forever? Always putting yourself in harm’s way for another person? That’s a noble profession, a solid one, but it isn’t one that fits with being with Jared. And I don’t think that you’re meant for it.”

Jensen swallows, hard. “Mr. Padalecki?” he asks, doing his best to keep the tremble out of his voice. He needs his job. His family needs him to keep his job, and it sounds like he’s ominously close to being sacked.

“If you never keep anything for yourself, then one day you’re going to have nothing left to give. Helping out your family is noble, don’t get me wrong, but if I let you be with Jared now, you’d never feel like anything other than a kept man.”

“Is that all, sir?” Jensen bites out in response. Hurt doesn’t even begin to cover how he feels at the moment. He knows that his existence is paltry compared to the wealth that the Padaleckis throw around without a thought, but there is a difference between knowing something and being made to look at it.

Mr. Padalecki sighs and looks like he wants to say something else, but eventually he nods. “That’s all, Jensen.”

When the door shuts behind him, it’s one of the most welcome sounds that Jensen has ever heard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Jensen signed up to be in the army, he didn’t sign up to become anyone special. He wasn’t picked for covert tactics or survival skills or sharp shooting. He was a grunt, a plain old enlistee. What he learned was how to run around an obstacle course and how to say, “Sir! Yes! Sir!” a lot.

It’s the experience of being the middle child that enables Jensen to dodge the very people he is protecting. It’s going to a low income public school where he was too slight and skinny and pretty for too many years that keeps him a step ahead of well meaning coworkers and earnest rich people.

It sucks, but Jensen knows how to avoid confrontation. If Mr. and Mrs. Padalecki don’t ever see him, they can’t ever fire him. As far as he’s concerned, it’s a stupendous plan, and he doesn’t give a rat’s ass what either Alfonso or Marcus think about it.

The only thing that he cares about is continuing to collect his paycheck. That and the way that Luke keeps showing up in photographs with Jared, but Jensen can’t actually do anything about that without jeopardizing his employment status.

Of course, Mr. Padalecki isn’t some underpaid guidance counselor, and Mrs. Padalecki has a wayward middle child of her own, so they start mailing things to Jensen instead of talking to him. College brochures, technical programs, and even annoying self-help encouragement books start showing up in his employee mail slot.

Eventually he gets tired of it and sends his own note to Mrs. Padalecki, because honestly he is too chicken shit to send it to Mr. Padalecki, informing her that he appreciates the assistance, but he can’t afford to go to a secondary education class right now.

She reacts by giving Jensen a raise.

Jensen retaliates by getting drunk off his ass with the extra money. He finds that he doesn’t care so much about his job when it isn’t Jared he’s protecting, and Alfonso and Marcus have been covering the elder Padaleckis just fine for years without Jensen’s meager assistance.

So yeah, he’s hung over and feeling like he just made himself the world’s biggest asshole when his sister calls. Her voice gets shrill when she’s excited, and that doesn’t coordinate well with Jensen’s throbbing headache, so it takes a few minutes for her information to sink in.

She has a full ride scholarship. A late donation came in for one of the scholarship programs, and the donor chose her essay as the winning one. Even though it was grammatically flawed, the sponsor felt that the spirit of her essay really made her stand out from the rest of the submissions.

Jensen hangs up from his call with a sense of failure hanging about his shoulders. He knows better than to try to outsmart a Padalecki. They’re filthy rich for a reason, and that reason is strategy.

“I hate you,” Jensen tells the morning papers when he drops himself down on the kitchen stool to eat leftover, cold toast and gluey oatmeal that the cook kept for him. There isn’t even a picture of a Padalecki on it, just one of their buildings in the background of some human interest headline, but it’s good enough for Jensen’s addled brain.

“If you hate the front, you sure as hell aren’t going to like the social pages,” Marcus tells him.

Jensen spills hot coffee on his hands as he jerks in surprise. “Man, have you been taking stealth lessons from Guido?”

“Guido is a little bitty baby,” Alfonso comments as he comes into the kitchen behind Marcus. “He wouldn’t know the first thing about sneaking up on anybody, not even your drunken ass.”

“Both of you, great,” Jensen mutters as he tries to lower his head to rest against the cool marble of the breakfast island.

“The Mister and Missus need their alone time,” Marcus tells him as he steals a piece of Jensen’s cold toast.

“Oh, man, did you have to tell me that? My stomach is already queasy,” Jensen complains.

“You say that now, but when you’re old and grey and trying to make sweet love to Mr. Jared, you just know that your bodyguard will be saying the same thing,” Alfonso chides.

“Al,” Jensen says very slowly, “will you please not talk about my nonexistent relationship with Jared?”

“Alfonso,” Alfonso corrects, “and the only person who is in denial about you being in a relationship is you. And you are a silly, silly man for acting the way that you are. If I’da had a beautiful, rich, gentle young woman fall in love with me when I was your age? I wouldn’t have gone around throwing her papa’s goodwill back in his face. I’d have told him that I’d be glad to take the pretty classes that’d make me worthy of being with his daughter.”

“This is different,” Jensen growls.

“Why? Because Mr. Jared has a penis? Or is it this new way of thinking your generation has? You can only go down in life, and it is wrong to want to grow. It is bull crap, this mentality of yours. An education will not change who you are inside, but it will make it easier to deal with those wretches and their cameras. You love Mr. Jared? Then you do this for him instead of breaking his poor heart,” Alfonso advises as he perches his short frame on the stool next to Jensen.

Marcus just steals another piece of Jensen’s toast, dipping it into Jensen’s congealing oatmeal before bringing it to his mouth.

“That is disgusting. You still have the manners of a child,” Alfonso says as he raps Marcus’s knuckles with a spoon, reaching across Jensen to do it.

Marcus doesn’t even grunt in pain, he just smiles and starts chewing with his mouth open.

“Marcus, dude, please?” Jensen asks as he turns his face away and tries to block out the sounds of overly loud mastication.

Marcus flips open the society pages and shoves them at Jensen in response. There is another picture of Jared and Shelby, but this time Jared is smiling down at the other man, and they appear to be conversing. There is some typical tabloid-esque blather on the side about how chummy the two men are getting, and it’s so generic and typical that Jensen would normally ignore it.

But they’re not referring so much to Shelby as Jared’s bodyguard as his companion, and society writers just don’t make that sort of mistake. They’re one slippery slope step away from being straight up tabloid journalists, and they know it. Their time is spent very carefully kissing the ass of those that they write about, so that they don’t get into too tight of a bind when they print their more salacious stories.

The change in Shelby’s status was authorized by somebody, and it bothers Jensen that he isn’t completely certain who the culprit is. Shelby’s family is rich and a connection with the Padalecki name could bring in good will just from association. But Shelby is more than aware of how the media machine works, and he could’ve made the status change known in an attempt to garner favorable press for himself.

More disturbing is the thought that the Padaleckis gave the go ahead for the change. Sure their efforts on Jensen’s behalf seem to be the acts of a generous couple trying to help a guy out, but they could just be giving out the wellspring of guilt and sympathy that is consuming them.

Or Jensen could be overreacting. It’s been known to happen.

He takes a deep breath and puts the paper down and tells himself three times that it’s just a paper and the words are just words. There isn’t anything behind them other than somebody’s rampant desire to sell a story, and he has no proof that said person has the last name Padalecki.

“You want a phone?” Marcus asks as he finally swipes Jensen’s oatmeal bowl away from him.

“For what?” Jensen snaps irritably. He’s got a phone. Just because he doesn’t pop for the expensive smart phone with its data package and awesome gizmos people seem to think he’s in the dark ages with a rotary phone and a book on smoke signals for backup.

“Well, now, Jared’s new number?” Marcus offhandedly suggests.

“Jared hasn’t gotten a new number,” Jensen scoffs even though he’s a little hurt by the news that Jared’s gone and gotten a new phone and didn’t bother to let Jensen know. Just because he’s arguing with Marcus, that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t believe the other man.

“Let me rephrase that,” Marcus says, “Would you like to have a phone that has Jared’s new, disposable cell number in it? The phone that his overly friendly friend in that paper doesn’t know about because Jared is sneaky and much too smart for that asshole?”

Jensen doesn’t think that the last part about Luke being an asshole was strictly necessary, but he appreciates the gesture of support. It’s the least that Marcus can do after stealing Jensen’s cold breakfast from him.

He extends his hand to Marcus and makes a little grabby gesture, much to Alfonso’s disgust. Alfonso has manners, and according to him he has been trying to teach Marcus some ever since they met. Unlike some personal bodyguards, they spend a lot of time in each other’s company. Mr. and Mrs. Padalecki didn’t get three children by having a cool, business fueled relationship.

The phone lands in Jensen’s hand, and he cradles it close to his chest before realizing that he is acting like some sort of lovesick idiot. If he’s going to do that kind of crap, he isn’t going to be doing it in front of two of the toughest men that he’s ever met. He’s got some pride left in him.

So Jensen gets off his kitchen stool, goes into the next room to make the eavesdropping that the two other guards are going to do easier on them, and calls Jared.

The phone rings until it hit a generic voicemail. Jensen tries not to be disappointed and even half convinces himself that Marcus had the wrong number programmed in when the phone starts vibrating with an incoming call from the number that Jensen just dialed.

“Jared?” Jensen can admit that the hope in his tone is just a little too needy.

“Jensen? Oh, man, I thought I wouldn’t hear from you for at least a week,” Jared whispers into the phone.

Jensen swallows and tries to take the words at face value. “Is this a bad time?”

There’s a brief silence and the sound of a door clicking shut before Jared answers him with, “No, of course not I just needed to get some privacy.”

“Oh, you with somebody?” Jensen asks.

“Just Luke,” Jared says, his voice hesitant.

Jensen doesn’t feel jealous or worried. He doesn’t, and he’ll keep telling himself that until he believes it. “How’re you doing?”

“I’m doing okay. Busy, you know? Dad’s got me working the arts circuit. Painting and sculptures and music and plays: they all combine to drive you a little batty after a while. Look, I’m an artist, right? That doesn’t mean that I’m ready to go around trying to wrap my head around some of this stuff.”

“Sounds rough,” Jensen says. It comes out flat, and he immediately winces. He hasn’t talked to Jared in how long, and he’s already not being supportive.

Jared snorts into the phone. “Yeah, I guess it’s not so bad compared to other things. How’re you doing?”

“I’m okay,” Jensen tells him. He doesn’t sound okay, and he knows it.

“Keeping busy?” Jared asks. It sounds like he doesn’t believe Jensen, but he also isn’t asking for details.

“Yeah, they’ve got me shadowing somebody constantly, you know? Your dad is…”

“Shit! Look, Jensen, I’ve gotta go. Talk to you later okay?” Jared says into the phone, cutting Jensen off.

“Okay, goo…” the phone disconnects before Jensen can get his ‘goodbye’ out of his mouth.

Jensen barely resists the urge to throw the phone across the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the day that Jared is finally supposed to come to the family home in Texas for the week, Jensen gets assigned to go to the local college to look over the security measures that are going to be in place for Mr. Padalecki’s guest lecture for their business and economics majors.

It’s irritating that he can’t be home for Jared’s arrival. He hasn’t seen Jared in ages except for in grainy photographs that get published in papers. The disposable phone that Jared gotten was broken when Jared slipped and fell on his ass. The jeans covering said ass had been holding the phone in Jared’s rear pocket, and it had cracked under Jared’s weight.

Shelby hadn’t been too happy to find a cellphone on Jared that wasn’t on the list of approved electronics devices, and Jared had gotten chewed out for creating a potential security hazard. Marcus relayed that Jared said he was being watched like a hawk.

Jensen isn’t sure if he believes that story. Part of him wonders if maybe, just maybe Jared’s love for him wasn’t really love. Luke is certainly good looking enough to charm Jared’s affections away, and he’s a lot more acceptable on a social level.

He isn’t in any sort of position to go blaming Jared if his attachment has shifted. Jared is still nineteen years old and sensitive. His affections have always been bestowed freely, and the only thing that Jensen can fault is his former charge’s taste.

After all, Jensen would never have let Jared fall in the first place. He’s had his fair share of bumps and bruises from using his body as a personal shield to Jared’s klutziness. But his job was to keep Jared safe and happy, and that bastard Shelby is stealing Jared away with half as much effort and a thimble full of the caring that Jensen had.

The knowledge burns deep in Jensen’s guts, and he’s just a little snippy with the dean of the business school as the man escorts Jensen through the halls. He doesn’t even know why he’s talking to a professor anyway. He’s sure the man is smart and knows the basic entry ways and exits, but he doesn’t have the sort of knowledge that even the janitors do of the building.

It isn’t the other man’s fault. Jensen has learned to respect and admire the amount of work and planning that goes into financial transactions and the importance of seemingly frivolous meetings. People that are that busy have a tendency to block out extraneous information. If they didn’t, Jensen wouldn’t have a job because Mr. Padalecki and his wife and all of his children are very intelligent. They could be their own security.

“Jensen,” the dean addresses him with a familiarity that Jensen isn’t used to hearing. Normally it’s Mr. Ackles when he’s speaking to important people, Ackles when he’s working a job with compartriots.

“Dean Withers,” Jensen responds politely.

“I hear that you’ve got a good mind for layouts,” Dean Withers says, a slight smile twisting on his mouth like he’s amused at something.

Jensen nods but doesn’t let his chest puff out in pride. He’s flattered that the dean noticed his meticulous detail for the positioning of the guards, but it isn’t proper to show that. “I’ve had a lot of experience in it. Jared… uh, Mr. Padalecki’s younger son, he liked to go to less controlled environments as young people like to do. When you’re in those sorts of places, it’s more important to strategize because you don’t have the manpower to cover everything.”

“You talk like you’re forty, but Mr. Padalecki informs me that you’re quite a bit younger?” Dean Withers asks.

Jensen tries not to show his embarrassment at having his age called into question. It’s happened before and will likely keep happening for years past his actual expiration date. His father, for all the stress that poverty and poor investments put on the family, still looks younger than he is. It runs in the gene pool.

“I’m just shy of twenty-four,” Jensen grunts out in as noncommittal of a tone as he can.

“Mmmm, have you considered organizational development?”

That question wrong-foots Jensen, and he’s not ashamed to admit it. “What?”

“It’s not the same as logistics, of course, but the concepts are similar even though you’re looking more at people and their job positions than a physical manifestation of it. But I think you’d be good at it.”

“I don’t understand,” Jensen admits.

Dean Withers looks at him with something akin to pity in his eyes. “Jensen, I understand that this might hurt your pride, but there are worse things in life than having one’s ego injured. Mr. Padalecki has been a donor to this college for many years, and he has great faith in your abilities. In my interactions with him, I’ve never known him to champion anybody that wasn’t worthy of the attention.”

Jensen just nods once in response. He figures that Jared’s never had the chance to bring home a dumb puppy before either, but the dean doesn’t need to know about Jensen, Jared and the Padalecki guilt over the whole thing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Jensen finally gets back from his trip to the college, Jared’s gone for the night. He’s off at some cancer research fundraiser. It only mollifies Jensen’s heart a little bit that Jared’s always loved that particular party. He can make himself believe that Jared isn’t avoiding him on purpose. At least he can keep up the charade until the next morning.

What surprises Jensen is Mr. Padalecki’s presence in the house. He was originally scheduled to be at the same place that Jared is, and Jensen wonders if maybe this is the night that he gets fired. He knows that the college offer is a good deal. Teaching a man to fish and all that is a noble way to get rid of the inconvenient employee who your idiot, impulsive son decided to declare his love to.

“Jensen, come on in and have a seat,” the older man says as he gestures to the leather wingback chair in his home office. “How did your discussion with Smith go?”

For a moment, Jensen is confused, but then he remembers that Smith is actually Dean Wither’s first name. There was some sort of bonding opportunity he had no doubt missed with the whole last name for a first name thing, but in all fairness, Jensen hadn’t known that he was walking into a college interview.

“It wasn’t exactly the discussion that I’d been expecting,” Jensen answers truthfully and a touch pointedly.

“You were being stubborn about the whole college education subject. I didn’t think that you’d go to talk to him if I told you that I wanted you to go discuss your future with him.”

Jensen holds his tongue from the sarcastic response that it wants to make about rich people playing God.

“How’s Jared?” is what comes out instead, and Jensen is very certain that he would rather have made the snide comment.

Mr. Padalecki’s mouth twists into a fond smile, and he shakes his head. He doesn’t say anything about youth. He doesn’t need to because it is heavily implied.

“Jared is a ball of energy like normal. You can see for yourself when he gets back from the gala.”

Surprise ricochets around in Jensen’s heart, making it pound. “You’re going to let me see him?”

“Last I checked it’s still a free country, Jensen.”

Jensen doesn’t bother keeping his snort in check.

“Freedom isn’t about doing whatever you want, and someday when you have your own children, you’ll realize that. I wanted what was best for you and Jared. You’ve been each other’s shadows for too many years, and you were both so young when we put you together.”

“And you didn’t want me manipulating poor Jared’s mind,” Jensen fills in for him.

“I didn’t want either of you making a mistake,” Mr. Padalecki tries to correct.

Jensen doesn’t believe him. What kind of importance does a mere employee rank with a man like Mr. Padalecki? Logic says that he’s just being nice to Jensen, paying lip service because a man of his importance has learned not to let bad things leak out to the press.

He’s just… covering his ass and giving Jared an escape hatch. Jensen isn’t sure whether or not he wants to call his employer on the lie, and he never gets to make that decision.

Mr. Padalecki’s cellphone goes off with the emergency ringtone. Jensen’s heard the tone before, but only because all of the guards are supposed to know its sound. They all have a secondary phone that will cause that particular ring to go off if they call on it.

Jensen swallows and his eyes lock on to Mr. Padalecki’s now ashen face. The older man whispers one word, “Jared.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The emergency room is just like Jensen remembers it form his childhood. Long waiting lines with people who don’t really have emergencies, but are coming in on the night shift to try to get their ailments or prescription drugs fixes covered under their non-existent healthcare.

His parents had money, once. Or so his brother tells him. Jensen was too young to remember anything but food stamps and charity. Jensen’s grandmother’s illness put the family in debt, and his uncle took off with everything else.

Jensen’s father lost his job, and then Jensen’s mother became ill with the stress of everything and… well Jensen doesn’t know what it’s like to live in the middle class comforts of anything. But he sure as hell knows how to sit in a room crowded with people, inhaling the smell of sweat and antiseptic every time that he breathes in.

There was a mugger: a stupid, fucking mugger because Jared wasn’t where he was supposed to be and Luke Shelby is a horrible bodyguard who doesn’t deserve to have half-assed paparazzi post poorly lit photos of him on the internet.

The doctors come out and blather to the Padaleckis, and Marcus and Alfonso loom around looking tough and competent. Jensen doesn’t do anything but sit in an uncomfortable plastic chair and stare at his hands. He doesn’t even know why he’s here. He didn’t drive the car, couldn’t focus on the drive to make certain they weren’t being followed, can’t even remember getting inside of the hospital.

He’s worthless, a grade A failure. If he’d just done something, then it would’ve been him with Jared tonight. He would’ve been the one getting Jared’s back, and it would be him on that gurney right now because Jensen damn well would’ve gotten his body to do some guarding.

But he wasn’t there. The only place he is, is here.

Time seems to tick by slowly. Jared gets moved to another floor of the hospital. Because this isn’t a movie, he isn’t in some secluded wing where the best specialists in the world are flown in to immediately operate on him. Jared’s concussed, and his leg is fractured. He’s unconscious, but there’s hardly any swelling and the doctors are pretty optimistic that his observational period will go over just fine.

According to Mrs. Padalecki, or what Jensen could make out from her hiccupping sobs as she called her other children, Jared’s pretty face has some bruising, abrasions and cuts on it. That they’ll fly in a fancy ass plastic surgeon for if his injuries don’t heal appropriately, but the chances of needing to take that are slim.

Jensen hates the new waiting room more than he did the emergency room. Down there he at least felt at ease if not comfortable. He was somewhere familiar. The waiting rooms for nicer floors aren’t places he hangs out much. Sure he’s been in his share of dentist’s offices and the like for his yearly physicals, and Jared’s routine medical visits, but this just feels wrong.

The police come up to talk to the Padaleckis, and Jensen can overhear them giving the briefest of facts. Jared and Luke had a tiff. Jared stormed away telling Luke not to follow him, said he needed some air and went outside to walk his anger off.

Shelby knows better than that. Jensen knows that the bastard knows better. Jensen’s pissed off Jared a few times, and he still never let his charge out of his sight. One thing that Jensen has learned with the whole body guarding gig is that even the most laidback of people will eventually snap at having another person in their space constantly.

They know that you’re there to protect them, but sometimes a human just wants to be away from other people. As the person who is directly responsible for their safety, Jensen has always known that he has to override his innate desire to give that other person what they want even if it is as the expense of his own feelings. It isn’t personal. It’s just how the world of security works.

And Shelby is good enough that he knows that rule, so the only reason that he would’ve broken it is something that Jensen doesn’t want to contemplate. A lover’s spat is the only thing that comes to mind, the only thing that he can think of that would make Jared make a scene at an event. Jared doesn’t do that sort of thing, and he’s not prone to putting himself into dangerous situations.

As much as he doesn’t want to admit it, Shelby is still a professional. Only something personal should’ve kept him from trailing after Jared immediately.

The thought churns unpleasantly in Jensen’s belly, and the bitter hospital coffee that somebody foisted onto him earlier threatens to come up on him.

He’s not sure how long he sits around like a useless lump, but at some point Mr. Padalecki harrumphs at him and herds him towards the room that Jared is resting in. It isn’t scary, not really. Jensen thinks it should be, but the heart monitors and tubing attached to Jared are just there to announce the fact that he’s still alive. He isn’t even on oxygen or anything.

Jared is still the prettiest man that Jensen has ever set eyes on. Even dinged up like Jared is, Jensen’s heart starts to hammer with want. He allows himself to stroke at one of the ridiculous sideburns that Jared’s been growing, and is shocked when Jared moans and his head shifts to push into Jensen’s touch.

The Jared moans again, and this time it is in pain. It doesn’t take a doctor to know that moving an injured head has got to hurt.

“Jared? Hey, you awake?” Jensen whispers.

Jared’s eyes slit open, and his mouth sort of twists into a smile. Jensen’s just started processing how foggy and unfocused he looks when Jared asks, “Luke?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So Jensen doesn’t really think that he has an issue with running away. Kenny Rogers espouses the virtues of knowing when to walk and when to run, and aside from questionable plastic surgery choices, Jensen is pretty sure that Kenny has done alright for himself.

And sure, quitting his job and stomping out of a hospital in tears wasn’t the best financial decision in the world, but his career was headed for the drink anyway. Plus his other instinct was to go find Shelby to beat the crap out of him – twice. Once for stealing his Jared’s affections, and once for letting his Jared get hurt like that.

It wouldn’t have been a clean, guy on guy beating either. Jensen would’ve girl fought and aimed for the nuts. He would’ve made sure that bastard wasn’t going to get the satisfaction of dicking his Jay anytime soon.

His room in his parent’s house is small, but he can’t complain. He stayed in far worse when he was younger, and this time his parents actually own the house that they’re living in even if they don’t have it all paid off yet.

Admitting to losing his job was something that Jensen only did once. He then promptly refused to talk about it because, damn, he got all caught up in his emotions and didn’t think anything through.

His mother offered to sell her pearls to get him some extra cash, and Jensen had to lie to her about the strands being faker than fake. He told her jeweler friend of Mrs. Padalecki’s had made them for him, and she should keep them because they weren’t going to sell for much anyway.

Jensen’s parents had gone without for quite enough time. Jensen wasn’t going to be the cause of them falling back into that habit. He was a grown man, and just as soon as his heart quit nagging at him, he was going to prove it.

There’s a thump outside of the flimsy door to the small room, and Jensen doesn’t have time to really wonder what the sound is before Marcus is pushing his door open.

If that wasn’t shocking enough, it isn’t Mrs. Padalecki that comes through the doorway, but Jared. Jared whose face is starting to turn shades of yellow and purple, and is hobbling around on crutches.

Out of habit, Jensen rolls off the bed to stand. He moves towards Jared’s side, ready to grab him if he should fall. Jared has a tendency to trip over lint when he has all of his limbs at full capacity. Jensen can only imagine what he’s like on crutches.

But Jared shoots him a sour look and stubbornly hobbles over to crash down on the foot of Jensen’s too small twin bed. Marcus, the bastard, covers his mouth with his hand, but Jensen can see the smile there anyway.

“What’re you doing here?” Jensen asks as he turns and walks back to sit next to Jared on the bed, ignoring Marcus as the older man leaves the room and shuts the door behind him.

“‘Hi, Jared. How are you? Good? Well that’s nice, because I’m an absolute asshole who is acting like he doesn’t care that you’ve been injured,’” Jared mocks back.

“Jared…”

“No! You don’t get to ‘Jared’ me. I thought you didn’t care for like, days. And then I finally cry on my Momma’s shoulder about how you don’t love me anymore, and she tells me that you were like some ghost haunting around my hospital room until you finally go to see me. Then you turned from ghost to bat and made like you were getting out of hell. Then I find out you quit. So I figure that you’re having some sort of stupid crisis that I need to drag you out of before you make us both miserable.”

“You’re entitled to change your mind, you know,” Jensen forces out of his mouth. He doesn’t want Jared to be stuck with him out of obligation.

Jared looks stricken at Jensen’s words, and his bravado and anger evaporate, leaving a scared looking boy behind. “Is that… Have you changed your mind? About me?” his voice sounds very small in the room.

“What? No. I… look, I’m sure that Luke has some qualities that I’m not aware of or something,” Jensen tries to be supportive, but really: Luke Shelby is an asshole. He couldn’t encourage Jared to do anything with him even if Jensen wasn’t in love with the guy.

“Shelby?” Jared looks confused. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but I am the one who got his noggin hit right?”

Now Jensen is the one that’s confused. “You asked for him. When I was in your room, and you were waking up and you…”

“I was concussed, Jensen. My brain was a scrambled mess! I don’t even remember you being there, and I certainly don’t remember asking for the same jerk that pissed me off so badly that I got myself into that situation to begin with. God, how could you even think that?” Jared is visibly upset.

“I just… you didn’t want to talk to me, and your parents, and…” Jensen babbles ineffectively.

“I should be really mad at you right now,” Jared says in a low voice.

“I’m sorry,” Jensen says desperately.

“You’re making my parents right. You realize that, don’t you?”

“I didn’t mean, I just, you can do so much better than me,” Jensen admits.

Jared laughs and shakes his head. “No, Jensen, I really can’t because there isn’t another you in the world. Do you think that my parents raised me to value money above all else? Do you think that they think that you’re not worth it? My dad doesn’t pull the strings he’s pulled for you for just anybody. He wants you to grow as a person.”

“He feels guilty,” Jensen dismisses.

“No, he really doesn’t. He likes you. He always has liked you. That’s why you got the job of guarding me in the first place.”

“Yeah? Then why have they kept us apart? Hell, Jared, we didn’t do anything wrong except for live our lives in the way that they were assigned to us. I can grasp that class distinctions, but if you’re saying that your father doesn’t feel them, then I sure don’t know what else he could be feeling.”

“He wanted what he thought was best for both of us,” Jared explains gently. “He was worried that we were too caught up in each other and were going to end up hurting instead of growing together. He asked me to give you space. I revolted and, well, you kind of got caught in the middle.”

“You had every right to revolt,” Jensen tells him.

“And I had every responsibility to act mature about it, and that I didn’t do. In all honesty, I hid my feelings from my parents. They’d asked me about us a lot. I mean, like, ever since I started crushing on you when I was sixteen we’ve had conversations about how I felt about you. Then my momma catches me looking at promise rings at the jeweler, and things kind of went downhill from there.”

“Since you were sixteen?” Jensen asks incredulously.

“You’re hot!” Jared defends himself, “And you were so cute with that always eating the chicken thing, and I just knew that you’d never look at me that way. But I couldn’t help myself, and then Marcus told me that you liked me back and… well it’s a really long story, but I was going to get you a ring.”

“A promise ring,” Jensen repeats back.

“Well, yeah, I couldn’t just buy an engagement ring and propose to you when we’ve never dated.”

“Jared, I’m not a virgin,” Jensen says very slowly.

“Dude! Neither am I! You need to update your views on promise rings. They’re like pre-engagement rings these days.”

“So it’s the adult equivalent of giving me your letterman’s jacket?” Jensen tries to keep the amusement out of his voice, but he fails.

“Oh, fuck you. I didn’t see you making any moves,” Jared grumbles.

“True,” Jensen concedes.

Jared nods once, but his face settles into a more serious expression. “So your running off like that makes dad think that maybe you’re not quite ready yet. Not that he didn’t already think that, but he might have a point,” Jared admits begrudgingly.

“What kind of point?” Jensen asks hesitantly.

“That we should take things slow, get ourselves established. I guess it’s not the end of the world if we do that, right?”

“No, it’s not,” Jensen agrees, “but I don’t have the means to get myself established anymore, Jay. I could maybe get some returning student scholarships. But I’m living in my parent’s house. That isn’t attractive on anybody.”

“Well, lucky for you, I’m going to business school next year,” Jared says.

Jensen wonders if he’s losing his mind. “Okay, for one thing you don’t even like business. For another, are you out of your mind?”

“We’ll, no, I’m not. See, Dad figured that you weren’t going to take him up on the college offer, but he also figured that you’d take him up on getting your job back.”

“And?” Jensen asks. He doesn’t say 'no' like his pride tells him he should. He wants his job back.

“And he figured that he couldn’t make continuing your education a requirement for a bodyguarding gig, but if you were following me around, and I just happened to be going to class…”

“Two birds with one stone,” Jensen observes.

“Yeah. Of course, he’s also worried about you getting, um, distracted? So you might have to put up with another guard hanging around,” Jared tells him.

“Not Shelby,” is the first thing that comes to Jensen’s mind to say.

“No, not the creepy dude that kept trying to get into my pants. He kind of got canned. But, you know, somebody new, older, bigger,” Jared says.

“So your father is going to bankroll two bodyguards?”

“Well, think of it as a transition period from protector to, you know, protectee?” Jared asks.

“I’m getting paid to be your boyfriend,” Jensen says flatly.

“If it makes you feel better, technically my momma gets paid to be my daddy’s wife, and it doesn’t bother her,” Jared offers.

“It isn’t right, Jared. It’s just not… Oww!” Jensen balks as Jared reaches over and pinches his ear.

Soft lips are pressed against the abused flesh a second later, and Jared whispers to him, “Shut up and let me love you.”

Jensen thinks that he can do that.


End file.
